"Myelin" & "Later" by Chesley Walsh

Myelin

Balls of dough, pale and pliant like our

fleshy thighs.

A time when touch was possible.

A long drive with your lover

and then

a driving

pain.

A long straight needle

in the spine like the wick

of a candle burning

you down.

A slow eclipse of one life:

Numbness as a torture, a bed as a world.

Passing words back and forth

words to echo touch

(when it was lost)

Medications

too hard

to spell

a feeling

(unspool-

able)

And walls (our limitations)

sometimes so tender,

like the deepest

netting of

nerves.

Later

Later we would

drive up

to the theatre

in my

rusted out car

glide almost

since I never filled

my tank

riding it until the dial

was way below

e

and I’d say

Let’s ride the hills

and pull into neutral

and drift across city streets

until we hit a station

to search for quarters

under the grey mats

put two bucks

in the tank

and feel

like we could handle

anybody’s shit

and maybe

we really could

just then

as happy as we were

riding the hills

and looking

for change.

Chesley Walsh is a writer, musician, researcher, clinical herbalist, community organizer and new parent. She has been performing solo and in projects Big Share, Bent by Elephants, and F in Fresh for over twenty years. Her recent work explores experiences of postpartum trauma, loss and grief.